Pono House

I’m going to write three articles that I am wildly unqualified to write. Well, maybe not completely. An article on how to do stand up paddle surfing, an article on how to windsurf a longboard, and this one. I’m unqualified because in relative terms I’m a rank beginner at the first two things, and for the third, I wouldn’t recognize a trend if it bit me on the ass. But I think hearing from a beginner who is struggling with the basics is valuable to people who are just getting ready to try something new. And besides, I figure it’s like the old ski instructors joke:

What’s the difference between a snowboard instructor and a snowboard student?

Two weeks.

Windsurfing on longboards literally means taking a longboard that is meant for surfing, getting a mast track put on it, and taking it windsurfing. With thirty years of painstaking design evolution going into the modern windsurfer design, this sounds like a really stupid idea. But it’s actually genius. Some of you might have tried (as I have) to surf a windsurf board when there’s just no wind and you’re bored on the beach. They suck at it. Sure, it can be done, but you can also surf on a two by eight, or a closet door. Doesn’t mean it’s fun.

But if you take a surfboard, especially something long and floaty like any of the new standup paddleboards, and put a sail on it, you can drive out to the surf, catch waves that would scare the crap out of you normally, and surf them. When they peter out you drive away, zoom back out and do it again.

Sounds like cheating. Sounds like you wouldn’t get the aerobic exercise you treasure from your surfing. No problemo, take off the sail. But I spent six hours doing it the other day. Skipped lunch. Whooped and hollered like a ten year old (I’m sixty, dammit). My biceps and thighs are so pumped my wife can’t keep her hands off them. Cool.

So here’s the reasons why everybody is going to be doing this:

• You can do it anywhere. If the closest water is a lake, and the wind rarely exceeds five knots–so what! It still works just fine and it’s still fun. You can sail the board around in almost any wind, which will get you back into windsurfing or get you started. You can also take off the sail and learn to stand-up paddle a surfboard. Stand up is a blast, it’s amazing exercise, and it’s best learned in flat water. My buddy Cameron Healy does stand up paddling just about every day when he’s in Kona, but he doesn’t surf. He just likes to paddle the board–you can see so much more in the water than on any other water vehicle.
• You can do it if you’re busted up or a geezer. I’ve never met anyone with worse shoulders than mine. Torn rotator cuffs, Labral tear, surgeries on both sides including one that got infected requiring five more surgeries to save the arm. With the right sail (Maui Hot Sails Superfreak: Viagra for old sailors) and a floaty board it just doesn’t matter. Uphaul or waterstart and off you go. In light wind I’ve been doing it without a harness, but I’ve been out hooked up in heavy wind (see here) and it was wonderful.
• All of your ancient experience counts. You retired from windsurfing ten years ago. Or you’re an old surfer that just doesn’t want to battle the kids in the lineup. You KNOW you can do this and be pretty good at it in a day–it’s old school windsurfing with wave surfing added. Non-planing jibes, tacking, uphauling with your feet dry, beach starts. Hey, in two weeks you’ll be an instructor.
• It’s versatile and cheap. You get a standup board–preferably with a mast base already installed, a hawaiian canoe paddle that’s six inches taller than your head and a sail. You can do it with all used equipment for next to nothing. Not only can you sail this rig, you can stand-up paddle it and do regular longboard surfing. And it will look extremely cool on your car. “Yeah, me and Laird, we do stand-up”.
• It’s amazing exercise. Doing standup has had a remarkable effect on my stomach. It’s still too big (hey, I’m working on that) but it’s got ridges of muscle down both sides. Sailing the board is a bit more relaxed than footstrap stuff, but it’s so much fun that you do it a long time.
• It’s fun. Actually it’s amazingly fun. I’m actually looking forward to the wind dieing down a bit so I can go longboarding again. It’s howling today on the North Shore of Maui.
• You can do it when nothing else works. Getting out and sailing around beats the heck out of sitting on the beach when the surf is flat and the wind sucks.
• It opens the door to more extreme versions. Once you’ve mastered standup on a lake, you’re ready for Maui–at least you’re ready for the gentle breaks on the south shore and paddling out at Kanaha on a small day. Once you’ve mastered londboard sailing on your local lake or river you’re ready for Kanaha when the wind is lighter, or anywhere else where there’s wind and waves.

You’ll love this stuff. Jump in.