Caught in the Undertoad
Jan 9th, 2008 by billb
I’m listening to Frank Sinatra singing “All or Nothing At All”. When I was a kid I always thought he was saying “caught in the undertoad”, never really understood what that meant, but I figured it couldn’t be good. Just like Garp (John Updike fans will get the reference). Today the Undertoad got me, or at least scared me a bit.
Went out to Kanaha fairly late–about 1:00. The waves were big at Ho’okipa, big crowd of surfers out. As they say on KPOA “two to three feet” which pretty much means two to three feet over your haole head.
There were a few SUP folks out and big crowd of long and shortboarders at Kenaha. The deal with Kenaha is that when Ho’okipa starts to close out to all but the truly awesome, you can still get out through the channels in Lowers. So I got out no problem, but now what. It’s been eight months since I’ve been in a wave higher than my waist. These waves were coming in looking kind of low and thick, then tossing up to head and a half high when they hit the reef. for the guys that have been there all summer it’s just fine. They can sense a lineup sweeper coming and they all move like one. But I was kind of clueless.
I saw what looked like a mid-sized wave coming, and no one looked like they were going for it, so I went. Got it too, though when I dropped over the lip I was looking straight down. I guess I kinda froze. If I’d been up to speed I would have given a whoop , stepped back to lift the nose of the Jimmy, and started turning. As it was I kept going straight down. I wouldn’t call it “pearling” it was more like the dive a cormorant does when they’re going after a fish down deep. I hit the reef with my hands and knees, bounced a few times, got dragged back to the surface by my leash.
Got back on the board, paddled back out through the channel, cussing like the sailor I used to be. I paddled back and forth a few times, finally decided to go down to the end where the other SUP folks were, and hung around a bit, screwing up my courage. Then I thought: “You haven’t been here a week you knucklehead, give it a little time”. Decided to bail, didn’t quite catch the little wave I fgured would transport me back to the channel, but it took me to about the middle of the impact zone. Looked over my shoulder and saw the biggest wave of the afternoon so far. Dropping on my head.
Damn.
Didn’t die, but that was enough. Gotta work back up to these things.
B:
Too funny….I didn’t understand 1/3 of the story…guess that makes me a “mainlander”…
B.
Great story. I always wondered what would happen to me if I came to Maui to SUP.
Now I know.
Glad to hear you didn’t die.
You’re making me nervous to come out there with you…is this going to be like the time you took me and Dave “hunting”?
I standup paddled Kanaha the last 3 days. I ride a 8′4″ standup and feel very comfortable on the board out there in the solid surf we have been having. Dont feel bad your not alone. I took some beating several times each day. being dragged and dragged. Today decided to try to get some video from my pocket video cam. Several sets took me out on the inside. But i was determined to get a bit of video. The sets were no where to be found. So i waited and waited. All of a sudden i saw everyone outside scramble. standup guy stayed laying down and paddled for the horizon. I saw their movement and did the same. Saw the set of the day looming and peaking as it got closer. I scratched and scratched and was going to make it by the skin of my teeth. was climbing up the face as it was pitching and the lip started the feather and i had about 5 feet to make it and was denied. The wave stripped the board out of my hands dragged the shit out of me snapped my leash and sent me swimming to the lagoon to find my board and still be late for work. Dont feel bad about the floggings its part of it. You will start getting used to it and come up laughing and charged to get one of those. Start in the inside peak on the right at kanaha. or a great other option is Kahului harbor. very user Fridley and fun. needs to be a big north swell. Sunday could be good. Dont be deterred by kanaha come back out and try it from another angle. It will come together and become comfortable the more you expose yourself to it.
I know, I did some big days at Kenaha last year toward the end of our six month stint here, and lived through the occasional thrashing. You do get used to it and I stopped struggling to get to the surface and relaxed–even this time I didn’t do anything goofy like try to swim up through a wave.
My big mistake was thinking I could come back after an eight month layoff and start where I left off just because I’ve been paddling in flatwater with the occasional session bouncing around in the Oregon surf. When I looked up at a ten foot face (haole measure) I suddenly realized I wasn’t really ready for it. Bad timing.
I’ll get back to that level, hopefully soon. I love those big thumpers.
Incidentally though, I don’t think your story is going to reassure Bob and DW. They are probably locking themselves in their bathrooms as I type this.
Bob–you and Dave have long memories. I shoot you with a few arrows ONE TIME thirty years ago and you’re still whining about it. What a couple of sissies.
you had an eight month layoff and felt bad but i just went through a *three* week layoff, went out for three hours today in ez chest high waves — and didn’t catch a single wave. 3 hours. Not one f’in’ wave. On a 12-6 Starboard!!!!! you think that’s imposssible? it’s not. i just did it. some days i just feel like throwing the towel in and/or thwacking my ridiculously stupid legs * feet off at the knees. let me repeat myself: 3 hours. Zero, zip, nada waves. On the longest/widest/most stable production board that i know of. And I’ve been riding sups for a while. well, shit. sorry to piss and moan like a baby in an otherwise great and chilling thread. but some days. some days …
I empathize, but I also don’t have any problem remembering how far you’ve come. When I tell people about SUP I always mention you and Bob, how good it’s been for both of you. I’m very proud to have been a small part of the two of you getting into this sport and accomplishing so much.
There are way too many people who take any infirmity as an excuse to sit on the sidelines and join the gummers on the tour buses. Its just so very cool and impressive that you haven’t let it stop you, and in fact you’ve taken on a sport that most completely healthy people view as impossible.
The good days more than make up for the bad days.
I’ve just found my mantra Bill…thanks.
I chalk up the frustrating days to practice. They are what make the good days possible.
We need to hook up soon Linter.
B&B (my favorite drink, btw) — thanks for the pep talk. it just get so frustrating sometimes. one problem is, i think a large part of me is constantly trying to deny that i have these neuromuscular issues, so that when i don’t perform up to snuff as it would have been in the good ol days, i tend to get incredibly pissed off at myself. ah well …
Bob: we do need to get together for at least a flatwater paddle. wish it could be in hawaii at the big board test. the way i see it, not only are you going to have a blast but you’re also going to learn a whole bunch in a short span of time. man o man.
Anyway, i’m all ready to go out again tomorrow. I’m a goofy foot and today’s spot was all rights. tomorrow’s: all lefts. hopefully I’ll have a better time …
thanks again, guys.